


Carnations

by AkaKenma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, akaken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaKenma/pseuds/AkaKenma
Summary: Kenma contracts Hanahaki Disease.“Hanahaki Disease is an illness borne of one-sided love, causing flowers to grow in the lungs of the unrequited, the petals coughed up with increasing frequency. If the love is not returned, the flowers filling the patient’s chest will eventually prove fatal.”





	Carnations

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually don't know a lot about hanahaki so I took some 'creative liberties'. So in this version, once you get the disease, you have one month to live unless you get the surgery to remove the flowers OR if the person loves you back. If you get the surgery, the flowers won't return, but you'll forget all of your feelings for the person. I don't know if that's the standard but that's how it's going to work for this fic.

Kenma remembered the day it happened clearly. The day he woke up coughing. He had thought he'd just caught a cold but the white petals on his pillow told him differently. He had stuffed them in a bag, determined to keep it a secret.

  
-

  
Keeping it a secret had gotten harder after two weeks. He was also starting to panic. He was going to die. He had less than two weeks. Unless he got the surgery. But he didn't want to forget the feelings. He didn't want to lose everything he'd ever felt for them.  
It almost seemed easier though. Not having the painful desire. The want for coffee dates and soft kisses and being loved. They could never love him back. That was the only other way. The only other way this wouldn't kill him.

Volleyball was painful. He felt the flowers constricting his lungs as he tried to run and jump. He'd been burning out so much more quickly than usual. He was even more reluctant than usual to run. He just told Kuroo he was sick with a cough. Which was true. Kuroo just didn't know the real reason for it.

  
How odd that love was the thing that would kill him. He'd never wanted that before them. But when he saw them..when they spoke..he knew.

  
He texted Bokuto shakily. It seemed like an odd choice of someone to talk to but he couldn't tell Kuroo. And he definitely couldn't tell the boy that made him this way.

[To: Koutarou  
Can I come over..please?]

His response was quick.

[To: Kenma  
Of course!]

When he arrived, Bokuto invited him in excitedly but looked confused. It made sense. Kenma never randomly visited him. It would always be with Kuroo.   
"What's up?"   
"I'm...I..have to tell you something..."   
Bokuto titled his head, almost like a dog, as he waited for Kenma to continue.   
"Are you okay?"   
Kenma shook his head.   
"Can I hug you?" Bokuto was expecting a 'no' or even for Kenma to back away. He knew Kenma didn't like physical touch.   
"Please.." He whispered, almost to himself.   
Bokuto was shocked but pulled Kenma into him. Kenma gripped the back of Bokuto's shirt tightly, knuckles going white. Bokuto held him closer, grounding him, choosing not to speak.

  
It was finally hitting Kenma. He was going to die. He knew he could stop it. But how was he supposed to make such a decision.   
He cried into Bokuto's chest, letting out his bottled up emotions.   
Bokuto didn't knew what to do. Kenma was always calm and put together. Seeing him break down like this was odd.  
"Kenma..what's wrong? Are you okay?"  
Kenma coughed, petals, tinged pink instead of white, falling to the floor. Blood.  
Bokuto stepped away.   
"Kenma.."   
Kenma picked up the petals quickly, shoving them into his backpack.  
"Am I the first one..?" Bokuto took a petal, studying it.   
Kenma nodded, wiping his eyes. "I don't want people to worry..or tell me what to do.."   
"What are you gonna do?"  
"I-I don't know. I'm..afraid..of dying. But I don't want to just..lose everything I feel for him..."  
Bokuto grabbed his hand.   
"Kenma..who is it? Kuroo?"   
Kenma choked out a laugh.   
"Kuroo? He's like..my brother.."   
"Your friend from Karasuno? Hinata?"   
Kenma shook his head.   
Bokuto couldn't think of someone else it could be. Someone Kenma would be so completely in love with.   
"It's..it's Akaashi.." His voice broke, forcing out the name.  
Bokuto's owlish eyes widened further.   
"Akaashi? You're in love with Akaashi?"  
Kenma nodded, wrapping his arms around himself.  
"I..I didn't know you two were that close.."   
Kenma shrugged.   
"You have to tell him–"   
"No."   
"But..Kenma..if you don't...you're gonna die..how long do you have?"   
Kenma shrugged.   
"Two weeks?"   
"You have to tell him. Please."   
"It doesn't work like that, Koutarou. Just telling him doesn't make it go away! I'm still gonna die unless he likes me back."   
"What if he does? Please..and if he doesn't..you can get the surgery..it'll take it away..but you won't be dead. Please, Kenma..You can't just die..."   
Bokuto hugged him again and he cried, Bokuto the only thing holding him together.

  
-

  
The last week was making it almost impossible to hide. He'd have to excuse himself to the bathroom several times a day to just cough into the trash, filling it with almost red petals.  
He and Kuroo weren't in the same class but Kuroo knew something was up. Kenma tried to avoid him. He had stopped going to practice, locking himself in his room right when he got home. He wasn't responding to texts from Kuroo or Akaashi, only talking with Bokuto. His fears of death, his fear of people finding out. He knew his parents would make him get the surgery. He knew Kuroo would tell his parents. He didn't know what Akaashi would do, but he especially couldn't know.

  
He sat in his closet, an amusing metaphor, and distracted himself with a game.  
Someone started banging on the door. Kuroo. Kenma's parents must have let him in. Kenma heard him come in to his room.  
"Kenma!" Then he went silent. He opened the closet door and slipped inside. He knew that was a quiet place.   
"Kenma..please talk to me..did I do something? Is that why you're skipping practice? You won't answer my texts..please, I'm worried.."  
"I'm fine." His voice was raspy. "I'm just sick, okay?"   
"You told me that a week ago."   
"I'm still sick, alright? You didn't do anything, I'm fine."   
"You've been acting weird the past three weeks..everything you do just seems more halfhearted than usual..and you've been avoiding us, the team."   
"I'm just tired."   
"And I'm tired of the excuses, Kenma, what's the problem?" Kuroo tried not to raise his voice.   
"Nothing! I'm fine."  
"Please be honest with me..do you have it?"   
"Have what?" Kenma played dumb, knowing Kuroo had figured it out.   
"You know what I mean, dammit. The Hanahaki."   
Kenma coughed upon hearing the words, an odd coincidence, spraying petals across the small area.   
"Kenma..why didn't you tell us?"  
"I don't know." His voice was harsh. "I didn't want you telling me what to do."   
"Kenma..you..you know what you have to do..."  
"I don't know how you expect me to make this decision."   
"How hard is it?! One choice you die and the other, you live!"  
"I don't want to feel nothing for him.."  
"Talk to him then...there's always a chance...but then if he doesn't like you back..you're getting the surgery, Kenma, you can't die."  
Hot tears ran down his cheeks.   
"I can't..."   
"Yes, Kenma, you can do it. Is it a friend?"   
Kenma nodded.   
"Call him. Ask him to come over. Tell him you love him."   
"It's not that easy..."   
"I know..."

  
-

  
[To: Keiji  
I need to talk to you...]

[To: Kenma   
Something wrong?]

[To: Keiji  
Can you come over?]

[To: Kenma  
I can be there in maybe 30 minutes.]

  
-

  
Kenma didn't consider the coughing getting worse the closer Keiji got. Or maybe his time was just running out. He was shaking as he heard a knock at the door. He felt numb when Keiji came into his room.  
"Kenma-san, are you alright?"   
"You don't have to call me that." Kenma said. The same thing he always said when Akaashi added '-san' onto his name. It had taken enough time to get Akaashi to stop calling him Kozume. His politeness was almost endearing though. He felt his lungs constrict at the thought, like the roots of the flowers were tightening around him.  
"And yeah..I'm okay..I think.." Lies.   
If Akaashi knew he was lying, he didn't say anything, which Kenma appreciated.   
"K-Keiji I have to tell you something."   
"What is it? Is something wrong?"   
Kenma sat on his bed and Keiji sat next to him.   
"How long have we known each other now?"   
Akaashi looked confused but answered. "Well..we met halfway through first year..it's the near the end of second now so..a year and a half?"   
"Okay.."  
"What's significant about that?"   
"I-In the last month or so..I've realized something.."   
He felt petals building up in his chest. No, he couldn't cough now.. What would he say. 'Keiji, I love you. Also, I'm dying.'   
"Yes?"   
"I realized..that I'm in love with you.." The words actually came out easily. Maybe because it seemed so right to say. 'Keiji, I love you.' The most natural sentence in the world.   
"W-What?" Keiji's voice sounded weak, like it would fail him any second.   
"I..I love you..Keiji..."   
He coughed into his hand, trying to hold the petals back.   
"No..."   
Kenma felt tears fill his eyes. There was his answer...  
"I'm–"  
"Is this because of me...?" His voice was pained. Kenma looked up. Keiji was picking a petal off his arm.  
"It's not your fault..it's how the disease works. Unrequited love. I don't want you to feel guilty... Kuro just thought I should tell you..."   
"Kenma..I..I love you too."   
"What?"   
"I love you too, Kenma, and I don't know if that can even save you but I love you and I don't want to lose you, Kenma please.."  
"Kei..Keiji...if you love me back...why do I have it?"   
He couldn't even take the time to comprehend the fact that Keiji loved him.   
"Maybe I didn't know until now..but hearing you say it..Kenma, I knew. I love you." He held his arms out, pulling Kenma into him.

  
Kenma felt like he was suffocating. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! It was supposed to go away! He gripped Keiji's shirt, breathing him in as much as he could. He felt his chest constricting. Then...it released. He felt heat rising up inside of him. Like the flowers were being burned away. The roots retracting their grip on his lungs. His chest was on fire but he could breathe. He could breathe properly for the first time in weeks. And then it faded. He coughed up a single petal. A white carnation.

  
Pure and innocent love.


End file.
